Ok, so I saw Twilight last night. There's that in itself. But besides covering my desk in drool, I've actually been thinking about the movie and its appeal. On the basic level, of course, it's Robert Pattinson, which was my main reason for going, because I've never read the books. It had plenty of unintentionally funny moments - bad CGI, a vampire baseball showdown, and bad makeup. Plenty of plot holes - why does a 100-year-old vampire have to enroll in high school? Can't they just homeschool him?! Do these vampire couples bone each other? What happens when Bella is like 85 and Edward has a 17-year-old dick? But I still paid $9 to gawk at Robert Pattinson. And I have to say it was worth every penny. I'm 27 and was reduced to a swooning lump.
Still, there's no reason why Edward and Bella are together, really. They have nothing in common. They barely speak to each other. It's no Before Sunrise, obviously. Some have called it sexist, since Bella basically casts off all other aspects of her life for Edward. He is putting her life in danger, and he is the only one that can save her. But that's love, right? Still, I can think of a million other books I'd rather have 13-year-old girls reading.
But their sheer boners are enough. That's what makes it appealing - that simple, unbelievably strong initial attraction to someone you don't even know. Especially if they're brooding. Some Jordan Catalano shit. In high school I'd see a guy every day before algebra class, and we'd lock eyes for 5 seconds as we passed each other in the hall. I looked forward to it every day. And it was awesome. We eventually dated, and yeah, it didn't quite live up to expectations, but that first feeling is what being 16 is all about. However shitty the story, most of us can't resist getting sucked into a romance like this, especially with people who look like this. So I have to say - I enjoyed it. Almost as much as the Buffy and Angel fuck scene. It wasn't a good movie, but like 300 and Troy, I will buy it for the jerk off factor. While reading reviews, I found this:
"After seeing Pattinson in "Twilight" I can't wait to see what he does in "Little Ashes" as the young Salvador Dali. I've read a great deal about Dali's very strange sexual proclivities. Is Pattinson's rabid fan base ready for Dali's disturbing and well-documented sex life?"
Gay or not, I am. I don't even care about the pedo-stache. I promise, I will see Let the Right One In to even this out...